The 5 Ways You Can Be a Better Ally
Steps for Transforming the Ally into the Accomplice
What does it take to be a better ally?
It takes more than discussions, social media posts, or one-off events to effect genuine, sustainable, and impactful changes in the fight for equality, antidiscrimination, and justice. We’ve seen countless clips online and articles discussing the need for those who are not a part of marginalized groups to be allies, but what has been excluded is that “the works” extend far beyond being allies. Being an ally is a possible first step in becoming an advocate for change, but to strike a crucial blow against the monster of hate and inequality, we must become accomplices. These are the five ways you can be a better ally by becoming an accomplice.
Let’s define a few essential terms first:
Actor - A performative ally. Their actions are more for show than actually to change or challenge anything. It is a dangerous position because the actor’s performance can be very self-serving, helping them acquire social clout and cachet of having the appearance of a fighter/activist/progressive and open person. This can be downright harmful, as it deflects attention from actual victims and issues.
Ally - Someone who has emotional solidarity with oppressed groups or injustice. The majority of an ally’s work is to educate themselves and others and possibly be a vocal advocate for change. Since they usually still exist in and operate from a position of privilege, there is often a line they don’t push or a depth of advocacy (read: risk) they don’t usually reach.
Accomplice - They view true freedom - their freedom - as inextricably woven with the liberation, equality, and justice for all people and work in conjunction with oppressed groups whether they identify as a member of one such group. The distinguishing factor is having “skin in the game.” They actively challenge systems, structures, and the status quo.
The best way to encapsulate the difference is a quote from Lilla Watson, a Murri (Indigenous Australian) visual artist, activist, and academic.
“If you have come here to help me, you’re wasting your time. If you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.”
Although affecting tangible change may seem daunting, here are the five ways to go from actor or ally to accomplice:
1) Understand and Own Your Privilege
To understand the fight for equal rights, we must understand the disparities that exist and reckon with our own freedoms and privileges. It’s about perspective. Privilege does not mean that someone is rich, doesn’t have any personal disadvantages, or has never had any difficulties in life. Privilege simply describes an advantage, opportunity, or ability you may have that someone doesn’t. There is straight privilege, white privilege, able-body privilege, straight privilege, etc. It’s not one person, and it’s not one thing.
2) Listen and Accept Feedback
Hearing about someone’s oppression can be difficult and leave us feeling uncomfortable; that’s natural, human, and okay. To be more than an actor, however, we have to be able to listen to the experiences of others, and we have to be able to hear about how we cause, contribute to, or perpetuate problematic behavior without becoming automatically defensive and argumentative, thus shutting down communication and understanding.
3) Educate Yourself
From listening, we can learn. Learning is about talking with others and understanding their lived experience. It’s also about making a concerted effort to learn and research on our own because relying too heavily on marginalized communities to educate you places an already heavy burden on those communities. There are many other great resources like books, movies, online videos, and podcasts.
4) Speak Up
We’ve all heard the saying, “If you see something, say something.” So, if you see any form of injustice or discrimination, you can use your voice and your privilege to confront an issue head-on, to educate someone, and to advocate for those who aren’t so freely able to use their voice. This does not mean speaking over a marginalized group or speaking for them, possibly taking credit for their work or diverting attention to yourself. To speak up as an accomplice means to speak up as a friend and an equal.
5) Be Consistent
Being an ally, advocate, and accomplice are verbs; they are action-based and continuous. This is probably the most important tip because it differentiates being an actor and being an ally from the full-time work - the being - of being an accomplice.
Many people would love to help out at a rally or shelter or march once and be done, and that is understandable, but marginalized communities don’t have the opportunity or privilege to commit to one act of righteousness or advocacy one time and be done with it. When they wake up the next day, they face a struggle, a continuous fight, so they must continue to be courageous. And if we are to be more than an actor or ally - to be an accomplice - we must utilize these five tips and continue to do the work.